This Is The Part Where Isara Dies
by ElfCollaborator
Summary: Isara gets shot and dies. Everyone thinks she's dead. People disagree. Hilarity ensues. Rated T for language and shenanigans. Parody, crack, spoilers for chapter 11 and beyond, blatant Cezary leather-pantsing, rage fic. First VC fic.


**This is The Part Where Isara Dies**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to...wait, not a RWBY fic? Damn straight.**

**Before we begin, I would like to make it clear I have **_**never**_** played Valkyria Chronicles and all my knowledge of it is based off of TvTropes and Let's Plays on Youtube as well as fanfiction. Now that that's out of the way, time to explain what this is.**

**I **_**really**_** hated how Isara died. Seriously, goddammit, SEGA, you could've killed her off in a less contrived manner? The anime's version is****fair enough, but the game's version simply has far too many plot holes which need to be answered. Which I shall in a deliberately stupid manner.**

**DISCLAIMER: Valkyria Chronicles belongs to SEGA, otherwise...well, just check the title and you'll see where I'm going.**

**I am basing my writing off of everything short of playing the game, please don't burn me.**

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"ISARAAAAA!"

Rosie's piercing anguished cry filled the area, echoing off of the surrounding buildings and rock faces.

The lifeless body of Isara Gunther lay in the arms of her brother Welkin nearby, a peaceful smile hanging hauntingly on her face. If one had not noticed the blood staining her shawl, one might have mistaken her for sleeping.

Squad 7 remained speechless. In the blink of an eye and the pull of a trigger, a beloved sister was taken away from them.

Moments passed without a single word or sound, except for Rosie's soft crying over the girl she had recently learned to tolerate without question, the girl who until recently she had squabbled with and bickered with because of her race.

The girl who Rosie would never get the chance to apologise to for everything she'd done.

Largo was the first to speak, clearing his throat and adjusting his collar nervously.

"...Lieutenant Gunther." He called softly to the grieving leader, hoping to use his rank and name to snap him out of it at least temporarily. "What are our orders?"

No response. Welkin was still staring at Isara's body.

"Lieutenant _Gunther_." Largo repeated with slightly more force. "What are our orders?"

"...contact Captain Varrot." Welkin ordered, standing up after setting his sister's body softly on the ground. "Tell her...tell her that we took the camp back.

Inform her that we suffered only one...casualty."

"Welkin..." Alicia muttered softly, reaching towards him. "...it's alright if you-"  
"We can't stop here." Welkin interrupted her. "If the Imperials are gathering here, this won't be the last time they attack us.

We have to move before they kill anyone else."

"What about her?" Largo nodded over to Isara. "How do we move her?"  
"...carry her into the Edelweiss." The lieutenant turned towards his tank, adjusting his cap slightly. "It's only right that...she goes on the final journey...in the Edelweiss."  
"L-Let me ride with her." Rosie stood up, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I-I'm not leaving her side, Welkin. I owe her that much."

"...if you wish." The lieutenant sighed. "Squad 7, move-"

"Not so fast."

Everyone present's mood began to sour further, as if her death could not make it worse.

Cezary Regard, sniper and avowed Darcsen hater, had shown up, staring at the dead mechanic.

Rosie glared at him and placed herself between Isara and the racist. Zaka followed suit, defending his own even in death, and then Welkin and Alicia.

"If you're here to gloat, you can get lost." The shocktrooper stated with a calm voice belying anger.

"This isn't the time, asshole."

"Private Regard, this isn't the-"  
"Save me the speech, Welkin." Cezary interrupted him. "I wasn't going to gloat.

Cezary huffed, crossing his arms and giving Rosie a smug sneer.

"If you _really_ wanted to know why I'm here, the stupid dark-hair's alive, you morons. Hanging on by a thread, but alive."

"...impossible." Welkin stood back, staring between Isara and Cezary. "She just died in front of-"  
"Oh, for _Valkyr's _sake, Gunther, do you know the mechanics of your own game?!"

"My...what?"

Cezary smirked.

"So you don't know how this works?"  
"I...wouldn't...look, what are you saying? Isara can't be alive. She just DIED!"

"On the contrary, she's just unconscious." Cezary corrected him, sighing. "Sheesh, you think you'd learn by now.

Lethal damage in this game knocks you out, dumbass." He whipped out a manual labelled 'Valkyria Chronicles' and threw it over to the lieutenant.

"Page 4. Knock yourself out."

Welkin studied him briefly, before looking at the manual and flipping to the requisite page.

"Wait...what's HP? What's a turn? And...wait, I don't-"

Cezary grumbled. "You _still _don't get it? This isn't real! You're all in a game, being played by people, and Isara, because she has to be the cute dark-haired loveable girl, got shot to make everyone cry!"

Rosie clenched her teeth and glared at him.  
"Don't you _dare_ talk about her like that!"  
"What, because it's true?" The sniper stared back at her, laughing bitterly. "Of course! There's _no_ way that half of you would be alive if this wasn't a game!

Potter, you got hit in the face with a bloody _tank shell_ just an hour ago!"

Largo rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Well...I am pretty tough-"

"Think about it, Potter. Just how are you alive, right now, standing here, talking to us when you took a tank shell to the head, while Isara, who took a bullet to the lung, is fish food?"

Largo's eyes widened in realisation. He stepped back, shaking his head.

"Oh gods, he's right." The lancer exhaled deeply. "We're all nothing but...video game characters."

"So what, does that mean Isara's life didn't matter then?" Rosie retorted bitterly.

"On the contrary, it did." Cezary responded. "I'll admit, I hate her as much as any nasty racist bastard in these kinda games would, but even I had enough of a heart to feel a little sad when she died.

And the poor loon writing the story we're in must've, too."

"Wait, wait, wait." Welkin held up a finger. "So, if we're in a...video game that involves turn-based movement, as you claim, then Isara-"  
"Was killed last turn and has two turns left until she dies for real." Cezary stated, sighing. "Finally, you get it."

"...so what do we do?"  
"Call the damn medic!" Rosie turned around, shaking Welkin frantically. "I-If Isara has even a _tiny_ chance of being alive, then-"  
"Not a tiny one." The sniper corrected her. "You've seen those ragnaid things they carry around? Sheesh, if they can save Largo from being blown to bits by a tank, they can save Isara from being shot in the lung."

Welkin immediately turned to Isara, scanning her for any signs of life.

Lo and behold, as the old fairy tales would state, however tiny it was, her chest rose and fell, signalling breathing.

She still lived. Cezary's claim was right.

"MEDIC!" The lieutenant yelled, before getting over to his sister.

"Is, don't worry, I've got you. You'll live! We'll get to fly together, like you said!"

She didn't respond, but the fact that her mouth curled slightly into a bigger smile only corroborated what he knew- that she was alive, and that it was going to be okay.

"It's gonna be alright!" Fina called over the crowd as they moved aside to allow her to treat Isara.

"Leave it to me!"

Whistling over to her sisters, the medic called over a stretcher to carry the mechanic away for further treatment.

Welkin sighed, as if a great weight had been lifted off of him.

"...Cezary...why?"  
"Why what?" The sniper raised an eyebrow.

"Why would you tell us Isara was alive?" The lieutenant laughed despite himself. "You hate Darcsens, don't you?"  
"If the damn creators are going to ship me with Nadine, what the hell, I might as well go with it." Cezary shrugged. "And I'm damn sick to death of this trope.

If you excuse me, I have a bunch of idiots called Simon and Nia to convince that they aren't entirely screwed. That one was _worse_ than dealing with the dark-hair..." With that, the sniper left the scene, his job done.

Rosie looked worriedly at the stretcher moving away, and back to Welkin.

"So...we're all just a bunch of characters in a game, huh."

"It seems so."

"...then...what kind of a heartless _bastard_ writes _that_ in?!" Rosie snapped angrily. "Seriously?! That's just _sick_ and _wrong_!"

"And contrived, now that you think about it." Largo rubbed his rough chin slowly, thinking. "I mean, now that you consider it, this whole thing seems fishy to me.

Welkin, our skilled commander, conveniently forgets to post a lookout around the camp. He also conveniently forgets that there's a large hangar behind us where Isara can repair her Edelweiss in peace.

Then, the sniper, presumably going for an important target, would have had to have dodged the likes of Cezary _and_ Marina, ignored Welkin, the commander, Alicia and Rosie, both skilled troops, Zaka, a skilled engineer and tank driver as well as an even more open target, to shoot at Isara, who was behind Rosie and a smaller, less vulnerable target to boot, for absolutely no reason or tactical gain whatsoever.

Doesn't that just seem a bit contrived?"

"You're right." Welkin nodded in agreement. "That does seem a bit contrived. At least...err...yeah. The game mechanics disagreed, apparently. And thank Valkyr for that."  
"So...this _was_ the part where Isara dies." Rosie muttered. "...or should've. That was absolutely terrible.

If they really wanted to kill her off that bad, they should've done it in a way that would make sure Welkin doesn't look like a moron, seriously..."

"True point." Alicia nodded, laughing. "I mean, seriously, what's next?

Am I going to reveal myself as a Valkyria and start whining about how I can't control it and that I'll turn evil because of it? And that it's unfair?"

"Tch, yeah." Welkin scoffed. "So...uh...if you excuse me, I'll go visit Is in the infirmary. And rethink my status in life, now that I'm apparently a video game character..."

"Wait up!" Rosie ran after him. "I still owe her a song, don't I?"

And so, another stupid death was averted.

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**END  
**

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**A/N: I have no regrets using Cezary to get my message across or absolutely destroying everyone's characters to get across the fact that THIS DEATH SHOULD HAVE BEEN HANDLED BETTER.**

**Personally, I would've had it so Isara got blown up or done in in such a way that there was no logical way of saving her or protecting her, if she **_**really**_** needed to die. Just so nobody could feasibly scream "MEDIC" and fix her up. Seriously, dammit SEGA, at least be **_**internally**_** consistent!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, reviews, suggestions, thoughts and criticisms and I hope you have a GREAT day!**

**Also, I FULLY welcome the hate. In fact, I'll relish it.**


End file.
